Aaaaarrrrrrgggghhh! Gggggrrraaaahhhh!

I have wanted to pull out my own hair pretty much daily since I graduated college. Please consider this an open letter to everyone who says college is a must- YOU LIED. College has done nothing for me whatsoever except leave me trapped between a rock and a crazy place since I received my diploma. Now, I realize that college is a wonderful thing for people who want to be, say, doctors or engineers. College is certainly necessary for teachers and scientists. But what about the rest of us? What about the people who went to school for four years and learned some really interesting facts about volcanoes and women's history and very little about how the hell to make it in the real world after graduation? Why didn't anyone sit me down and say, "hey, you know this big fancy college you want to attend because it seems fun and cool? Well it's going to leave you with mountains of debt. And because we live in a crappy economy, you're going to have to pay this debt off while working a post-college job that doesn't even require a degree. And you know that dream you have of becoming a writer? Yeah.....that would be much more likely if you weren't working all the time to pay off loans you shouldn't have taken out in the first place...."

Which leaves me feeling exactly like this woman

I know this is just a part of growing up that is to be expected, but I don't accept it. I refuse to buy into the idea that this is all there is. So come hell or high water (or debtors prison) I am going to rise above all this disappointment. If not, I might actually look like this guy. And that is simply not acceptable.

And this is news, why?

While mindlessly flipping through the Yahoo! News stories I found this gem.

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/nicolas-cage--i-m-not-a-vampire.html

Apparently Nicholas Cage has been attempting to hide the fact that he’s a member of the walking, blood-sucking dead. Well let me just say, he’s been doing a pretty poor job. And a note to Nick Cage; when someone accuses a human of something as completely ridiculous as being a vampire who reinvents himself every century to avoid capture, the human thing to do is laugh it off as a crazy person with an active imagination. It’s not really making your point if you go on television to adamantly deny it and point out the reasons it’s false. But I’m so glad you did!

I want!!!!

Today a coworker brought me a present!

Okay, so the giant horse-like dog wasn't actually for me to keep, but that doesn't mean I won't find a way to keep him anyway! Now, I just need to find a way to sneak the beast into my"absolutely no dogs allowed ever at any time for any reason" apartment...........

Memories of Fall

I've been missing Autumn a lot lately. I get to thinking about it almost every Saturday. I think because Autumn and Saturdays have a lot in common. On Saturday, the weekend is just beginning. All the things you want to do are still there in front of you, waiting to be enjoyed and conquered. By Sunday (or Winter) they're all still there, but you're slowly beginning to realize that maybe they won't all happen. There's a small shadow of disappointment in every Sunday and every Winter. But not Saturdays. Not in Autumn. 

I am a cold-weather person. When that chill first hits the air, I become giddy with happiness. The first cold day of 2011, as the wind started to chill and the sun faded a little earlier than usual, I drove to Fred Meyer and purchased pumkpin muffins, pumpkin spice candles, and "fall blend" coffee. I bought spider lights to decorate for Halloween and a gorgeous woodwork sign saying "Autumn" in flowing letters. When January hit and I could no longer convince myself that it was "kind of still fall...." I packed up my orange and brown treasures and anxiously began waiting for next year, when everything would seem possible again.

So in an homage to all the things that I love about that time of year when the leaves are gold and red and the air is crisp and chilly, here are my favorite moments from last fall.

See why I love this sign and candles?

Breathtaking

Two roads diverged....... 

------in a yellow wood

My little Millie playing with her new favorite toys

I feel such nostalgia for this to come back. But that's the great thing about Fall, or any season for that matter. It won't last forever. We just need to keep that promise of tomorrow alive and try to live every day as if anything can happen. So now I'm off to go to my favorite little tea shop to read and write. Because today is full of possibilities. And they're not going to wait for me.

My Future Son

I saw this video and couldn't resist sharing it.

You and me both, little man......

Minibowl Sunday

Sometimes my life is just sad…….

I have been planning a Superbowl party for weeks! In my head I’ve been planning it for months, basically every day of the NFL Holiday Season I imagine myself clad in Red and Gold jumping up and down on my couch a-la-Tom Cruise as I scream tribal calls for the 49ers. In my head, they will forever be in the 90s-glory-years and Joe Montana will lead them to victory). I have chosen to selectively black out the last decade or so—don’t judge me. Cubs fans have been doing it far longer than that.

But this year, the unthinkable happened. The glory days returned. Win after win, my boys made me proud. I actually made the effort to watch more games in the season and held my head a little higher when people asked who my team was. And I began to think more and more about my epic Superbowl party! I would host a glorious feast complete with decorations and war paint.

And then a tragic thing happened……they lost in overtime of the final playoff game. They were this close to going to the Superbowl. And then Williams blew it…..twice……rough day for him. I may or may not have cried into my blanket and then spent the rest of the night moping. Like I said, this may or may not have happened…..

So close......and yet practically a continent away....

After their loss, I kind of downgraded my Superbowl party. The version in my head kind of dwindled to a few sad streamers and half-inflated balloons, while I cheered half-heartedly for the Giants.

Then today at work, my best friend Megan came to my desk and we began to plan the party.

“So Megan, I decided that it doesn’t matter whose house we have the Superbowl party at.”

“Oh it’s okay, we can do it at yours.”

“Okay, who should we invite?”

“I don’t care; whoever you want.”

“Well I don’t care either.”

“We could have it be just us…”

“Well that would save me the trouble of cleaning my house”

“And we could sit on the couch and eat whatever we want without judgment.”

“And I’d save money on food……and not have to cook.”

“Yeah we could just split a pizza and wine…”

“Okay that sounds good.”

So to sum up, what was once an out of control, slightly deranged with excitement Superbowl Sunday Love-fest 2012 will now consist of me and Megan downing a meal of solid carbohydrates as I cry into my wine for the niners loss……

Oh how the mighty have fallen…….

An open letter to you, on the bike

Dear bicyclists,

We need to talk….Let me start by saying this. I dig the message you are promoting. I feel the whole peace, love, and granola idea of using mass transit and bicycles to cut down on carbon emissions. I too want to save the polar bears and the tigers. I will yield to you on side roads and vote for laws that add bicycle lanes on large roads. And I will even drive ten miles per hour if it means not passing you since it’s not safe for you, the clearly more eco-conscious person in this scenario. But our relationship needs some serious work; and in this case, dear bicyclist, it’s not me, it’s you.

Let me explain something to you. If you decide to ride a bicycle on main roads, you are still a vehicle! You still need to stop at red lights and stop signs. You do not get to cross with the pedestrians in the cross walk. You do not get to cut across an intersection when it’s clear. You also do not get to weave in and out of cars as if you are a mini cooper (note: mini coopers, you are also not allowed to do this).

And much like the way my cat can hog the bed with her tiny little body and scratchy claws, you somehow manage to hog the road on your little plastic death wagon. I do not approve of this. Remember earlier (see above) when I said I’d yield to you on narrow roads, this only applies when you are not actively attempting to make me late for work.

And on the topic of you taking up the road, remember this: you are a bicyclist; which means that if you (on your bicycle) dart in front of me (in my speeding block of metal and glass) you are going to lose. I do not want this. You do not want this. So please do not send me to prison for something I cannot prevent! I wouldn’t do well in prison. I hear they don’t have a Starbucks….

So shape up. I want to make this relationship work, and you need to do your part. I just can’t take the constant back and forth anymore. Just remember who you are and what your limitations and responsibilities are and we’ll get along just fine.