A Delicious Surprise!

And now a bedtime story with Nicole.

Once upon a time, I decided I was going to be vegan. I was all excited with my nice new assortment of vegan cheeses, veganaise, and vegan whole wheat bread. Like any good planner, I had researched, plotted, scanned stores for vegan friendly foods, and stocked up on books so I would be super prepared to take on the noble task. I read "The Kind Diet" and really connected with all the great reasons to be a vegan. I learned all about Whole Foods' vegan pizza nights and potential vegan snacks to get me through my long work days. I set myself to a goal to one week; one whole week of no meat and no dairy. 

Some day...we'll be together...yes we will, yes we will.

And then my week began. And I learned a total of three things.

1. Veganism is EXPENSIVE

2. Veganism is HARD

3. I felt AMAZING

When my week was over I patted myself on the back for a job well done, and vowed that from that day forward I would shun all meat products and eat dairy only once or twice a week. Then, mind full of resolve and confidence, I went to the mall by my house for a MAJOR book sale (90% off people!). As I walked from the store, my arms full with newfound treasures that would most likely spend the rest of their lives sitting neatly on my bookshelf making me feel guilty with their longing stares and cries of loneliness, something caught my eye. A temptress. A siren singing her beautiful ethnic song of cheddar and sour cream. A sexy concoction of delicious smells and vibrant come-hither colors.......A mexican restaurant. And with all my new found strength and health mindedness, I marched right into that restaurant and ordered a cheese-smothered enchilada with chicken......and a side of extra chipotle ranch sauce....

Oh cheesy goodness

I am ashamed......

And it all went downhill from there. I was successful in giving up meat (except fish) and I no longer drink milk. But about cheese......oh cheese....we have a love affair that makes me oh so happy and then leaves me sobbing into my pillow with regret-laced satisfaction. I feel bad...but oh so good. And I often dream of a world where dairy and fish will no longer have such a Hulk-tight grip on my taste-buds and I will frolic in a field of kale and kombucha and LOVE it, but I always awaken from that dream to the reality that veganism is just too damn hard and I will never know true happiness.

And here, children, is where my story begins. And what a glorious story it is!

Tonight started just like any other Friday night. My best friend Megan and I were doing homework at a local coffee shop. When it came time to leave, we were starving. We stepped out into the brisk, bone chilling, teeth chattering cold and booked it to the closest deli in the outdoor mall. Alas, they didn't have any food as it was getting late and they only had gelato and coffee (which on any other night would have been heaven, but there's something about 30 degree weather that turns the thought of gelato into something about as appetizing as an ice cold bath in that goo they used to drench people in on Nickelodeon.....or maybe that's just me)

So instead of braving the cold to go to one of the several restaurant that we knew of that were close by, we chose the cowards way out and ran to the deli immediately next door in order to decrease the frostbite as much as possible. When we walked through those doors, we stepped into Nirvana. Truly, a diamond in the rough. For this restaurant, boys and girls, was no ordinary restaurant. Nay! It was a fully vegan schmorgesborg of edible fantasy.

A kid in a candy store has nothing on me.

My eyes had never seen so many vegan choices in one place. And the part that made this truly remarkable, the part that blew my mind into itty-bitty, tiny, paper-thin pieces was the fact that it took us a full TEN MINUTES of looking at this menu to even speculate that it may be vegan. The menu listed pizzas covered in cheese and sausage, juicy bacon burgers and beef sandwiches with au jus, chicken wraps with ranch and chipotle sauce! All of it meat and dairy free! It was as if that small part of me that had always dreamed of the field of kale and kombucha was throwing me a bone and saying "okay kid.....go crazy."

And I did.

I purchased the crispy chicken wrap with chipotle sauce, avocado, sour cream, and a heavy dollop of love, and Megan (a lifelong vegetarian) lovingly adopted a portobello sausage burger. We ran to the car with our treasures anxious to get home to taste them and see if they could truly be as good as they looked.

Now I have never considered myself to be particularly religious. And I am not usually one who is inclined to going a little, let's say "freaking insane" (for lack of a better word) over food. But OH MY GOD was it good,

The following is the actual conversation between megan and myself as we sunk our teeth into our finds. Now please, don't judge us too harshly......

Me: Mmmmmmmmm

Megan: Oh god

Me: Oh my

Megan: Mmmmmmmm

Me: This is just.....I don't even......Oh my God

Megan: This is SOOOO Good!!! So good

Me: Food has never made me this happy

Megan: You know what? That's not even an exaggeration!

Me: I know!

Megan: Ohhhhhh

Me: If my mouth could orgasm

Megan: I know! Me too!

Me: I wouldn't even want a condom. I want this to get me pregnant......then I will eat my delicious babies! Is that wrong?

Megan: Oh God! So Good!

Me: Can I try that potato salad? Ohhh

Megan: mmmmmm hmmmmm mmmmmmm

Me: (upon eating potato salad) Oh MY GOD!!!
Megan: I wish I were bulimic so I could taste it twice!!!

Megan: I think this is what a religious experience feels like! 

Me: Yeah, I agree, but more spiritual than religious

Megan: I don't know....when I look at this burger.....I see God!....Oh man....If I blogged the things that I really say in real life, I would have no friends......

Me: Not true. I would be your friend!

Megan: Haha okay good.

The food was gone in about.....oh, let's say five minutes so we don't look like total food whores (although it may have been three minutes flat)

And this is why I absolutely love where I live. 

And this is also why my best friend is better than your best friend. We can share life's truly great moments, say horrible and embarrassing things to one another that nobody should ever hear, share them with the world (of the three people who will read this) and remain best friends.

Yep, life is good.

Now....where can I get another vegan chicken wrap...........?